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Product Description

The authors of the New York Times bestseller Crucial Conversations show you how to achieve personal, team, and organizational success by healing broken promises, resolving violated expectations, and influencing bad behavior

Discover skills to resolve touchy, controversial, and complex issues at work and at home--now available in this follow-up to the internationally popular Crucial Conversations.

Behind the problems that routinely plague organizations and families, you'll find individuals who are either unwilling or unable to deal with failed promises. Others have broken rules, missed deadlines, failed to live up to commitments, or just plain behaved badly--and nobody steps up to the issue. Or they do, but do a lousy job and create a whole new set of problems. Accountability suffers and new problems spring up. New research demonstrates that these disappointments aren't just irritating, they're costly--sapping organizational performance by twenty to fifty percent and accounting for up to ninety percent of divorces.

Crucial Confrontations teaches skills drawn from 10,000 hours of real-life observations to increase confidence in facing issues like:

*An employee speaks to you in an insulting tone that steps crosses the line between sarcasm and insubordination. Now what?
*Your boss just committed you to a deadline you know you can't meet--and not-so-subtly hinted he doesn't want to hear complaints about it.
*Your son walks through the door sporting colorful new body art that raises your blood pressure by forty points. Speak now, pay later.
*An accountant wonders how to step up to a client who is violating the law. Can you spell unemployment?
*Family members fret over how to tell granddad that he should no longer drive his car. This is going to get ugly.
*A nurse worries about what to say to an abusive physician. She quickly remembers "how things work around here" and decides not to say anything.

Everyone knows how to run for cover, or if adequately provoked, step up to these confrontations in a way that causes a real ruckus. That we have down pat. Crucial Confrontations teaches you how to deal with violated expectations in a way that solves the problem at hand, and doesn't harm the relationship--and in fact, even strengthens it.

Crucial Confrontations borrows from twenty years of research involving two groups. More than 25,000 people helped the authors identify those who were most influential during crucial confrontations. They spent 10,000 hours watching these people, documented what they saw, and then trained and tested with more than 300,000 people. Second, they measured the impact of crucial confrontations improvements on organizational and team performance--the results were immediate and sustainable: twenty to fifty percent improvements in measurable performance.

Customer Reviews:

• A must have for all!!!!!
  This book is the sequal to "Crucial Conversations" and follows the same type of format as the previous book. Once again, the book is outstanding. The books gives you tools to work on the crucial confrontations that can occur after the crucial conversations that you have just had.
  This book can further assist anyone in leadership to learn the techniques that can assist the conversations that are uncomfortable or haven't led anywhere to a successful end.
  This book is also great for a couple, for friends, or for anyone who has entered into crucial confrontations with someone.
  It is a perfect companion to Crucial Conversations. Easy to read....more info
• Daily problems solutions
  Confrontations with other people's ideas, opinions and actions are part of a daily routine. Books like "Crucial Confrontations" show us how it looks like when stakes are high and results could strongly influence our lives. Having such book "on our side" help us to confrontate daily challenges successfully. For both side's sake....more info
• Speak up and maybe save your life
  I surprised myself by reading almost the entire book during a two-week trip to Thailand w. The authors do a great job of showing how NOT stepping up has allowed catastrophic consquences to result. For example, the co-pilot who chose not to speak up when the pilot was preparing to take off in freezing weather with ice building up on the wings. All that survived was the cockpit tape that has the copilot hinting at the danger and not taking a powerful stand with the pilot. Our circumstances are not likely to be that drastic, but it is really very serious business.
  
  I like that the book recognizes that speaking up can be risky and talks about how to make reasonably sure that you won't hurt your career or relationship when you choose to speak up.
  
  The keys to managing the conversation so you don't get off in the weeds and get a valuable result begin with stepping back for a moment and remembering how you got to your reaction. The authors say we start by seeing or hearing something, draw come conclusions, react and then take action. If you review what exactly are the facts you started with and what are the interpretations or conclusions you came to, you are free to share it as a story the other person can understand. If you speak as if your conclusions are facts, you can lose the rapport you need to have a good outcome.
  
  I like the question the authors suggest asking yourself to get to how to start a conversation that doesn't amount to an attack: "What would cause a reasonable, rational and decent person to act like this?" Answering that question puts me in a frame of mind to begin with an attitude of mutual respect.
  
  The other major key for me that I got out of the book is realizing that when someone does react badly during a conversation like this is that two key safety issues could be percieved as missing: mutual respect and mutual purpose. If you are ready to restore a sense of mutual respect and mutual purpose, then you can get back out of the weeds of someone reacting in ways you don't intend or that surprise you.
  
  Providing a way of knowing what to do if things go wrong in the conversation is key to my being willing to take on having the conversation in the first place. Most people just keep quiet and there is a cost to that. Some people hold back until they blow up and that doesn't work very well either.
  
  That is my three paragraph teaser about the book. I like that the book is based on over 20 years of studying people who excell at this type of conversation and distilling how they do it.
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• Help with Teenagers!
  This book has helped me to enter the sometimes scary world of teenage children. It gave me skills to keep "in dialogue" with my children even when confronting them on "bad behavior, broken promises, or failed expectations." Since first reading this book, I have practiced these skills and am getting better with my practice. I love the concept of keeping the conversation "safe". Its amazing that I can confront my children on issues that before they would blow up, but now we are able to agree and see things the same way. I love to end with the question - Do you see it the same way, or have I missed something? This helps them to know that I really have their best interests at heart. This book is a must-read for parents, teachers, employers, and employees. It has helped me to better my relationships in all aspects of my life.
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• Creating a Culture of Performance
  Crucial Confrontations is the perfect companion book to its predecessor Crucial Conversations. Both are indispensable tools in creating a culture of performance. With its universally applicable principles and practical skills for resolving broken promises, violated expectations and bad behavior, it provides the diagnostic keys to unbundling seemingly complex issues that hold individuals, teams and organizations at a distance from their preferred futures. Beyond the welcome relief that comes from just cracking the code on a performance or relationship issue - these tools actually have the power to "knock people into gear" by making visible some of the long-term (seemingly invisible) costs associated with more typical coping or carping strategies. Without exaggeration, the skills that are suggested during a Crucial Confrontation entitled: Make it Motivating and Make it Easy can literally "change the chemistry" of the interaction to make closing the gap between what's expected and what's delivered a reality....more info
• Recommended for Everyone
  After a very mild, but poorly handled (by me) confrontation at work, my boss recommended that I read this book. He felt it would help me learn tools to deal with the little squabbles that happen everyday in a hospital environment. It did- and also helped almost immediately with a personal problem as well.
  
  I had an altercation with a landlord soon after completing this book. He kept trying to make the conversation unsafe- escalating and blaming me for things that he had not completed properly. I found myself using a few of the techniques from the book! It worked! Every time he escalated I identified it from the book and brought the conversation back to a "safe" area focused on the most important issue. By the end of the conversation, we were both calm and had at least identified the problem (step one of solving it!)
  
  I immediately bought a copy for my younger brother- who had just been promoted to management in a sales job. He's reading it now on his commute in the form of a book on CD. I'm reading Crucial Conversations right now by the same author. This book is immediately applicable and does indeed deliver the promised techniques, with very excellent and very readable examples, for many of the squabbles we run into during the course of living. ...more info
• Packed with Knowledge!
  Although confrontation is difficult for many people, it is often necessary. Failure to confront someone over bad behavior may be misinterpreted as approval. Confrontations can help bring people back to a better, more productive course. However, confrontations also can go off track and become shouting matches (or worse). Authors Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan and Al Switzler outline a method for approaching confrontations when the stakes are particularly high; those are the crucial confrontations. Boiled down to its essentials, the methodology consists of focusing on facts, remaining calm, listening to the other person with respect and working to motivate the other person and to enable a change in behavior. The book is light, anecdotal and easy to read. Yet, we find that it offers so much sound advice that any manager, parent or spouse could find something useful....more info
• A Relational Guide to Confrontation
  In this example filled guide to crucial confrontations - those times when holding someone accountable is critical to what is important to you - the authors present a relational model for what to do as you become aware of a gap between your expectations and what has or is happening in the specific situation.
  
  The concept approaches the crucial confrontation in `before', `during', and `after' steps; requiring you to spend some `before' time deciding `what' is the specific issue to be addressed and `if' you should enter into the crucial confrontation - what do you desire out of the relationship is a key question to help identify the real issue. Also in the `before' phase, you are asked to master your emotions by considering not only `your story', but also by considering the other person's context and thus `their story' - are they really doing this because they want to fail with you? Probably not - they just have an entirely different perspective (their story) on the situation!
  
  The `during' step requires that you confront with safety and stay with the facts; assuring the other party that mutual respect and mutual purpose are present. The `after' step requires agreement on an action plan and follow-up. Along the way, there are tools to avoid getting side-tracked, with ample examples of situations that may arise and suggestions for dealing with them. The book is recommended for anyone interested in improving any of their many relationships, business or personal.
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• Crucial Confrontation
  The book provides an excellent methodology for addressing issues in both my business and private life. I thought it very helpful with completing my performance reviews for both high and low performers. ...more info
• this is IT!
  exceeded my expectations...a must read for all those seeking practical strategies to lessen the 'drama' in face-to-face accountability discussions. ...more info
• The first half is a must-read.
  The first half of this book was excellent. Part I was titled "Work on me first". Under it was Chapter 2 "Master my stories: How to get your head right before opening your mouth". It talks about the stories we tell ourselves to explain what is happening around us. These stories can have a profound influence on your life. Negative stories tend to become self fulfilling prophesies. I'd heard about these stories in a talk. The speaker asked us not to share what we had learned. So I was pleased to see it in another source. The second half of the book I suspect was written by another author. Perhaps if I'd been practicing their suggestions it wouldn't have felt like formula writing. That said, I would still recommend this book to anyone who feels uncomfortable confronting people around them even when it is necessary.
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• Great job
  I appreciate the books a great deal. They are wonderful tools for improving communication, which is something we all need, and especially when the stakes are high. Great book....more info
• Crucial Confrontations
  A must read for supervisors and managers. With outstanding proven approaches to knowing what you want from a conversaton, what the other wants, and watching out for the relationship. Found it useful at work as a reference book, plus a great read for personal relationship communications as well. Would suggest reading Crucial Conversations first to really get the full view. ...more info
• Great lessons for work and life
  Having read both this book and "Crucial Conversations" more than once, let me say that they are both worth reading more than once! In its latest reading, I used this book for a book study at work, guiding my team (I'm their boss) through the book and the lessons in the book. The team had been largely dysfunctional, had serious problems with communication, apparently had no idea of how to deal with confrontations, and might very well have imploded completely. Over the course of a few months, we read this book chapter by chapter (with some breaks), discussed each of the lessons, and started to put them into play.
  
  Today, the team communicates far better, has become highly functional, has improved their interpersonal skills, and are a joy to work with.
  
  Several of the team said that they were already starting to put some of the things they'd learned into practice in their personal lives, and I can see them applying them at work daily.
  
  The lessons that you can glean from this book are HUGE. If you find yourself struggling to have real conversations about issues small and large, if you have a relationship that is in some jeopardy, or if you just want to be more effective in a leadership or teaming role, read these books.
  
  For instance, the idea of mastering your stories... what is it that you assume about the motivations of the other person, and how do those assumptions generate feelings which drive YOUR behaviors? Learning about your "stories", how to discuss them with others, and how that affects you could be the start of something wonderful for you.
  
  Read these books. Now....more info
• IF You Could Buy Only One Book
  I read this when it was first published and then bought it for each staff member as one of our required primers. I also gave one to each of my Board members. If there is one book I wish had existed 30 years ago, this is it.
  
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• Still using these teachings
  I forgot I read this book until I saw it on my list. The teachings are memorable and I am still using them on a daily basis. I am also still giving people advice from this book. Excellent for managers and supervisors. I was making many common mistakes and this book helped put me in the right direction. It is rare for me to remember the in-depth content of books, but this one is well written and has helped me greatly....more info
• A systematic approach
  This is an organised book on systematic approach to resolve differences between people that you come into contact; your spouse, your child, your boss, your friends, your colleagues, and your enemies.
  
  The best part was the commendable effort of Patterson, Grenny and McMillan, Switzler to organise this book to resemble the systematic approach that they shared. I could only read this book when I have free time and it took me over 2 months to complete this book. However, I could easily follow and recall the trend of thoughts and arguments, and make easy references to remind myself of steps that I have forgotten or would like to refer.
  
  The only thing that I found this book does not address is that the approach might be difficult to apply in a selfish political dominant culture.
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